Kidney Awareness Month

Lisa and I outside of her office.

March 16. Day #3. Ted drove up from Laguna Beach to pick me up for a coffee house concert in Glendale where a gal named Lily Hernandez, a singer/songwriter, was performing. It was a fundraiser because she needed a kidney transplant. My friend Chris Breed invited me to attend and to speak. Chris has a nonprofit that helps those with kidney disease who need a transplant. Chris was born with a genetic kidney disease. His father died from it. Chris received a kidney via a living donor. He's doing great now. Both of his kids got the same kidney disease that he and his father had. There is a 50/50 chance of passing it to your children. Chris started his nonprofit because of all he's been through. I think we get hard stuff in life that we have to go through to overcome and then use it to help others. When we do this, we are honoring what we've been through and being of service. I try to do this with every heartbreaking event I learn from. This allows me to be of service and lessens the suffering of others.

Chirs invited me to speak because I am donating a kidney to my friend, Lisa, from high school. The whole thing went down in such a crazy way. I was getting ready to attend my 40-year high school reunion in Kansas City. I texted my six favorite high school girlfriends and told them I was going to the reunion and I wanted to see each of their faces there. Everyone responded by saying they were going, they were not going, or some shared why they couldn't go. Lisa was one of them. She said she couldn’t go because of treatment. I texted her privately and asked, “Treatment for what?” I assumed she was going to say cancer. She replied, “Dialysis. My kidneys failed.” I called her. We talked for a while, she told me what went down, and how she does dialysis three times a week for three hours. Her facility wasn't too far for me. I asked her if I could sit with her one day during treatment.

Lisa and I had lost touch. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in ages. I went one Saturday to sit with her. Ted dropped me off, and I asked him to return in three hours. When I walked into the room, Lisa started crying. She was so excited to see me. It had been so long. Although we haven't stayed in touch, there's something about someone who's known you your whole life. Someone who knew your mother and your brother. Someone who knows things about you that most adult people living near you don’t. There's comfort in that no matter what your current relationship status is.

I was shocked when I saw Lisa. She was so thin and looked exhausted. I could tell she had been through the wringer. She had two tubes hooked up to her chest. One was sucking all the blood out of her body and pushing it into a big machine. That machine was cleaning her blood. Then, the other tube was putting all the blood back into her body. It took three hours. She did it three times a week. Her whole world was built around this chair. Lisa was telling me how she had just been put on the donor list. It was a 10-year wait for a donor. A deceased donor. Lisa told me how her mother couldn't donate because she was because she had cancer. How her brother couldn't donate because he had cancer. How her husband couldn't donate because he had cancer. And how her housekeeper wanted to donate, but wasn't a match. “I’ll donate,” I said. It just rolled out of my mouth. I am very impulsive, so I checked in with myself to see if that ‘oh shit, what did I just say’ feeling was there. It wasn’t. Lisa started weeping. She was so floored and touched. I felt very calm and matter-of-fact. I could see by Lia’s tears how much it meant to her.

When Ted came to pick me up at the end of the three hours, he texted me he was there. I texted him back asking if he’d please come in and meet Lisa. He walked into the entrance, put on one of the yellow hospital gowns, and walked over to where we sat. I said, “Ted, this is Lisa. Lisa, this is my lover, Ted.” Ted said, “Hello Lisa, it’s nice to meet you.” Then I said, “Ted, I'm going to donate one of my kidneys to her.” Ted said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Leigh. That is a big decision, and I do not think you should make it until we do some research, speak with your doctor, and talk with your children. I know you have a good heart, but we need to make sure this is a good decision for everyone.” “He’s right,“ Lisa said. “You need to make sure it’s the right decision for everyone.” “Ok,” I replied. “You have a point, Ted.” Then I mouthed to Lisa, “I’m donating you my kidney.”

Ted did a lot of research. I called my doctor. Basically, the worst thing she said was I wouldn't be able to take ibuprofen ever again in my life, but I could take Tylenol. However, she informed me that it was not as good as ibuprofen. I talked to my children, and they had similar things to say. My oldest, Charlie, said, “Wow, that is cool, Ma.” My daughter Margot said, “Oh my gosh, Mom, that is so sweet. Are you scared?” My son Sargent said, “Figures, you always do nice things for people. I wouldn’t expect anything less.” My daughter Audrey cracked me up. She said, “No way! Isn't Lisa the girl from your high school who married a super rich guy in Malibu, flew your whole friend group to California, and didn’t invite you when you lived in the same town? Hell no, you are not donating a kidney to her.” I belly laughed. Audrey remembered that and was still pissed that someone would do that to her mom. I told her, “Yes, that was the same Lisa. But that was a long time ago, and I don't hold any upsets or judgments against her. Although it took Audrey a little time to get on board, she finally did. That reaction still makes me laugh.

March is kidney awareness month. The month I am donating a kidney. And my birthday month. I will have to say that God works in mysterious ways. I knew nothing about kidney donation, dialysis, or anything regarding it. Had I not included Lisa on that text thread regarding our high school reunion, I would not be speaking to her or know anything about her illness. After I got home from visiting her, the day I offered her a kidney, I went to God. “God, if I am supposed to do this, I'm all in. If it's not something I'm supposed to do, throw a block up. When I'm doing all of the testing, let something come up so I am not a match. I feel called to do this, but I ask that Your will be done, not mine. I released that prayer and moved forward.

I passed all of the tests. Our live kidney donation surgery is March 28. What the actual heck! I am excited. Who knew kidney donation would be a part of my story. I love this life.