Be Present

When we are present, we are not holding onto the past, we are not worrying about the future we are all into what is in front of us. That way the space is a clean playing field not littered with our shit.

My son Sargent and I were stuck in a gnarly wake-up routine for a while. He was struggling with depression and feeling very defiant. I tried every approach I could come up with and read about but to no avail.

It got so bad that every time I went to open his door, my whole body got tense and I was prepped and ready to fight. Holy hell this took a toll on my body and mind every day and on Sarge who was already struggling enough.

I finally got it. If I stay stuck in this routine with him we are both suffering. I took some deep breaths and reminded myself of the power of mindfulness.

Show up clean and fresh in the present moment and respond to what is. Don’t bring a big bag of shit on my shoulder and start swinging it around.

I put down my bag, said a prayer of gratitude for this darling man-boy that I get to love and guide, then I walked in and sat at the end of his bed.

As I opened the door his covers shot over his head. (I would have done that too with the energy I normally walked in with.) I sat at the end of his bed silently and held in my gratitude.

Eventually, he peeked out and I smiled. He pulled the covers down a little more, a little more, then I saw a smile.

I did this consistently and things shifted.

When you get present, drop your old stories, and show up in your loving, you create room for change.

I am learning more and more every day about: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

That simple, mindful, and compassionate act (for myself and for Sarge) shifted everything. It gave us a fresh space to work.

As I kept this mindful practice with Sarge we were able to have discussions about the best way for me to communicate in a way that didn’t feel overwhelming/overbearing.

We both felt seen and heard. That is all we need to know that we matter and we are worthy (with a sprinkle of love of course).