For The Love Of Divorce
I am currently divorcing my beloved husband of 22 years, David. We had so much fun and a good run for about 17 years and we have five beautiful children together (four of which are still living at home).
Our relationship has run its course which was a stunner because I thought what we would be together forever.
I fought so hard for five years to try and do whatever I could to make our marriage work. I worked so hard that I eventually made myself sick (ps anytime something feels hard, stop). I couldn't sleep, eat, and I still had to take care of four kids.
When I finally asked David to move out, because it was undeniably necessary, I was knocked to the ground with all kinds of overpowering emotions. I felt like a failure. I felt unlovable. I felt all alone and utterly lost.
I had cried and stressed the five years as my marriage was imploding, but this was a whole new pain. It felt unbearable. I had already lost many friends as I was losing my husband (they were choosing sides when David and I were just trying to figure out next steps) and I was left with 5 kids that desperately needed me and my body felt shattered.
I was curled up on the couch crying and crying and crying until one day I stopped. I was cried out. I stood up, took a deep breath, looked down through my swollen eyes for the foundation of what I thought my life was built on and that foundation was gone.
But...I was still standing.
I took a few more slow deep breaths then reached down to my toes and start feeling my way up to my calves, to my knees, to my hips, to my belly, chest, shoulders then head. I looked up like it was supposed to happen, I reached my arms up to God and said, "Use me, God. I am ready. What do you have in store for me that I wouldn’t have done if I stayed David Koechner’s wife?"
I felt a shift in that moment that words can't explain. It might be described as a burden lifted or a feeling that in the heartache of the moment, everything was going to be okay...better than okay.
David and I are currently mediating. At the start, I was filled with feelings of anger, fear, and victimhood.
As time went by I took baby steps to start speaking up in mediation, educating myself when things were unclear, being aware of what I deserve in mediation, and asking for help when I wasn't sure what was next.
After practicing this newfound strength for a few months and practicing Self-Love, I was able to move from Victim to Empowered. I also found myself in mediation completely stressed out and mad as heck with David. I noticed how bad my mind and body felt during mediation. I didn’t like it. I flipped my mindset to remember how much I loved David and what a wonderful man, father, and provider he had been. I remembered the guy that existed under this super angry guy. I set up boundaries with the angry guy, but I spoke to and prayed for the man I fell in love with. My body felt better when I did this, mediation was smoother and I found over time, David was softening his heart as well. Then I had not only moved from Pain to Power but also from Anger to Love. I learned how to feel the pain, let it pass through me then jumping into curiosity while skipping the suffering! I had never done that before. Who knew you could skip suffering! Suffering to me is being in upset about something that is no longer happening. It’s like holding a hot coal. You are going to get burned and no one else is affected by it. Suffering is based on thought and the thought isn’t real. Thought is our interpretation of a past event. So we are using the thought to cripple us over and over although the event is over.
I created the For The Love Of Divorce 6-Pillar Online Course because I am so excited to help the divorced community get back to love. Literally love is all we need. It is the most powerful weapon on the planet. Use it as your shield and sword.
Life isn’t happening to you, it is happening for you. Every obstacle in your life is for your learning, growing, and evolving. Your superpowers are born from the pain you accept, embrace, learn from, move through, overcome, and share.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. I choose to opt-out of suffering.
My life has already changed in miraculous ways (remember I am still navigating divorce through mediation).
Allow the possibility that your divorce path can move with grace and ease- open your mind a little to make room for that thought.
Everything is possible. Not some things or only for others, EVERYTHING is possible. Knowing this deep down in your bones will not only change your divorce trajectory, but it will change our life.
Embrace this online course in guiding you from Fear to Power and from Anger to Love (where ever you are in the process of divorce).
This course is an intimate space to feel, heal, and create the smoothest journey through divorce as possible.
Join me on this healing ride to freedom! You have no idea what God has coming your way.
Get ready, it's beautiful over here.
I love you. I got you.
Leigh
Learn more about the For The Love Of Divorce 6-Pillar Online Course here: https://fortheloveofdivorce.teachable.com/
Are you at a crossroads in your relationship? Check out my Make Up or Break Up Zoominar call here: https://youtu.be/2-dTLz13JUo
I’m here for you!
Reach out to me in real-time by texting the word Leigh to the number 41242. Answer a few automated questions then schedule a complimentary 15-minute 1-on-1 call with me.