unleash your messy imperfect life
One thing I hear often from newly married couples is, “When should we have a baby? We want one, but we don’t feel ready. When is the perfect time to get pregnant after getting married? Do we need a stable job, more money, bigger house?” My answer is always the same, there is no perfect time for having a baby or anything else you desire in life. If you want it, do it! Go for it right now and figure out the details as you go. We do not need to wait until we lose 5 pounds, we have the new car, new boyfriend, new job, we can do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want. The only thing that can hold you back is you with your silly spinning thoughts of not being enough. Let’s stop that sh*t!
Byron Katie wrote a book called “Loving What Is.” I had to look up the name of the book because I was trying to remember, and I thought it was “Being at Peace with What Is”. But no, it’s way more. Actually, LOVING what is. That’s like having acceptance, peace, then actual LOVE for the thing that is happening right in front of you, no matter what that thing is. It teaches that we are exactly where we are supposed to be and everything that is happening is what is supposed to be happening. When we are in upset or in dis ease with what is happening in the present moment, we are causing self-suffering. You don’t have to like what is currently happening to you, but you can accept it and have peace with it as you navigate your way through instead of crumbling and falling victim to it.
Every single thing that is happening in your life right now is showing up to teach you. What are you learning? Are you open to understanding? Are you open to taking a pause, stepping out of the emotion, and asking, “Hmmmm, what are you here to teach me heartache? What are you here to teach me shitty relationship? What are you here to teach me asshole teacher? What are you here to teach me mean person in the elevator?” If you are open to it, awesome! If you aren’t the situation, event, obstacle, person, will come back again and again until you learn what it’s showing up to teach you. I have a friend who had cancer and beat it. The doctor asked my friend, “What did you learn from the cancer?” My friend laughed and said something silly. I knew what the doctor was asking. On the way home, I asked the same question, “What did the cancer teach you?” My friend said something silly again. I knew she had to learn on her own time and not from me preaching to her. I also knew situations come back again and again until we get the message. Whatever the lesson it came to teach is coming again until she receives it.
Every interaction is sacred. Let’s stop bitching, complaining, and gossiping and start receiving what God is so graciously handing us on a silver platter for our learning. LOVING what is. What a concept. How cool would it be if your sister hung up on you and posted something shitty on your Facebook page and you smiled and said, “Hello lesson. God open my mind and heart to see what it is that I am to learn. Is it that I am called to love all of God’s children especially the ones that act shitty because when you feel good you act good? And when you act like a dick, you must feel like a dick?” Hmmm. That person needs my love. I am LOVING what is instead of taking it personally.” From the book The Four Agreements, the only one I remember is: Don’t take anything personally. The story we hold from our childhood of not being enough will take every single event that happens in life and funnel it through the lens of not being enough which then twists the beauty of reality into a shitty story that holds us back and supports our lack. I have started writing a book and am leading a workshop with the same name: Unleash Your Messy Imperfect Life. I lead a workshop once and cried during it because I was struggling. A woman came up to me after and said, “I almost didn’t come because you are so perfect. You are pretty, in shape, married to a Hollywood actor, and have a beautiful family. I thought being around you would make me feel worse about myself. But you are just like me. You are going through the same stuff and it’s messy. Thank you for sharing your mess and showing me, we can be okay anyway.” I realized how important sharing the mess is. That is where we connect, build each other up and become vulnerable. Embrace and Unleash the mess with me!
Unleash Your Messy Imperfect Life.
We will be using my 10 Step Program:
1. Identify Your Pebble (Story)
2. Rewrite / Replace the Pebble
3. 2 Things Matter, Screw the Rest
4. Coming Home
5. One Word to Kick to the Curb
6. Mindfulness & Martinis
8. FYG & GYG
9. Partner with Power
10. Just Serve
I am so excited about the book and the workshop. Not only because it fills my heart with joy, but it can and will wake you up. Let’s co-create our lives by no longer suffering from your childhood story pebble and embrace all of our lives, especially the messy imperfect part. Let’s be grateful for the bumps knowing they are our greatest teachers. One thing we all have in common is we are struggling, but oddly enough this is the time we feel the most alone. Come with me, roll up your sleeves, and let’s dive into the mess. There are gems in there.